November 6, 2009 by Greg Katz
Welcome to Caregiver Friday!!
One of my favorite places to visit in New York City is Rockefeller Center. There’s a huge status of Atlas carrying the world on his back that is magnificent and certainly for many a sign of the times. It’s easy for a fictional character to carry the weight of the world on his/her back, but what about us real life mortals? How is it possible that we come to a place in our lives when we are not only responsible for ourselves but the survival and well-being of others?
Now that I’ve laid this out those of you who are caregivers/wellness partners are probably feeling overwhelmed. You probably saying to yourself that you already knew all of this so why am I spelling it out in the post? The truth of the matter is that when we keep things in our heads we’re the only one who hears it. We think it, we talk to ourselves, we imagine scenarios as problem solving mechanisms to try and calm the mind, even if just for a moment.
When I put it out before you in black and white we take it to a whole new level. It becomes conscious and present and something that each and every caregiver/wellness partner should be shouting from the rooftops…CAREGIVING IS HARD! I’m not saying it’s not without its rewards; but it can be a difficult road to navigate.
I guess what I’m really saying is that it’s important to say things out loud. It’s important that your voice be heard, with the patient, the doctors and with your own soul. You have an opinion and it’s important to remember that when the patient got diagnosed, you got the same diagnosis. You may not have to go through treatment and your existential issues are probably a bit different, but impermanence comes to the foreground. Speak your truth, not in an aggressive manner, but in an assertive manner.
Don’t be responsible for the world, cut loose that which is too burdensome and focus on what really counts. Lighten the load when possible and find ways to build your physical, emotional, and spiritual endurance; it will save your life and increase your quality of life!
Posted in Caregiving | Tagged care for the caregiver, caregiver burnout, caregiver empowerment, caregiver health, caregiver needs, caregiver stress, caregiver support, coaching caregivers, Greg Katz | Leave a Comment »
November 4, 2009 by Greg Katz
It’s amazing how certain things in our lives keeps showing up. In my conversations for the past twenty years with people like you, those newly diagnosed with a chronic or life-threatening illness, the same words and phrases continually appear. Our human experience is shared and our emotional and spiritual lives are ways we can express ourselves to others. Here is something I wrote back in 1997 that I found this morning:
July 2, 1997
What is it that makes us ready to open our heart to a pain which is so pure and genuine? Being incorporated into someone’s life the way a cat hair may get crocheted into an afghan. The opportunity to bond with an individual or family in such a way that when the person is alive you’re a godsend and afterwards all you represent is death and emptiness, or do I? What else might I be? I hope I can restore people’s faith in human nature.
Somewhere when a person has been violated or betrayed, either by someone else or their own body, I arrive and ask them to trust me, to help them navigate this new life. I try to reverse or make better all the ills they have suffered in their life or are currently suffering. My attempt is to help the person clean out the wound and be able, once again, to connect to the human essence of compassion and connectedness.
I like awake wondering how to relieve a person’s suffering. As I write I realize it is about bracing myself for a bumpy roller coaster ride which will continue until the calm of the coaster station arrives at which point the person has died. May I have it backwards, perhaps the roller coaster ride doesn’t start until the person dies or maybe it starts the moment the doctor says, “I’m sorry to tell you…” I guess we need to look at who’s at the control panel–maybe we’ll both be surprised.
So the real question becomes, “How do you measure a year?” as the question is posed in my favorite musical RENT. Maybe love is the only yardstick to use anywhere. That being the case, can I be on the lookout for such a blatant experience? Will I know it as it happens or will I need to look back and say; this was a sign of love. A measure of that person’s trust, not to do harm, faith to be true to my word and genuine in my emotions throughout our journey together.
So for now I will get in the car with you on this ride. I may not be able to take the fear out of the ride, but maybe it’s really about being able to scream with you as we go over the huge drop on the roller coaster–that freedom to release and have witness to the experience.
I offer this post with admiration, love, and support for your journey.
Posted in Partnerships | Tagged coaching illness, faith, Greg Katz, illness coaching, newly diagnosed, newly diagnosed illness, patient empowerment, spiritual stamina, spiritual wellness, suffering | Leave a Comment »
November 3, 2009 by Greg Katz
When you hear the word “breakout” it may conjure up scaling prison walls in search of freedom. I find as I talk to more and more people diagnosed with a chronic or life-threatening illness that the “breakout” is not about escaping, but figuring out how to deal with being backed into a corner.
Let’s face it, once the diagnosis is given the medical community feels that the steamroller is the most useful tool in getting you to accept their diagnosis and treatment plan. The big question is that to empower ourselves as patients it’s crucial that we ask questions and begin what could be one of the most important conversations of your life.
The medical community isn’t different from any other profession, the only difference is that with doctors the decisions could be a matter of life and death. Whether it’s about a diagnosis or treatment, doctors have to deal with something called, “cognitive literature diagnostic momentum”. They attach themselves to a diagnosis (or treatment) and over time it gets stickier and stickier. Like a dog with a bone it may be difficult or near impossible to move the provider from their stance on your care.
Surprise! The truth is that it’s your decision. What we often forget is that the treatment regimen is up to us. We have to remember that for some, no treatment is a treatment option. I know that sounds crazy, but we’re talking about free will, not having something shoved down your throat. Yes Virginia, no treatment is an option. It’s not about going rogue, it’s about knowing in your soul what you’re capable of handling or willing to handle. I repeatedly comment about my own father wishing that when the day comes (many years in the future) that he dies that he goes with one big heart attack in his sleep because he’s already made his wishes known that treatment will never happen. I know it may be a shock, but that’s his decision.
Keep yourself out of the corner and keep your physical, emotional, and spiritual options out in the open. It’s important to stay in the question always wondering what options still exist and what options might you be willing to try? It’s also important that communication between you and your doctor be open and honest so you don’t ever feel backed into a corner.
Posted in Having a Voice in Healthcare | Tagged coaching illness, communication and health, doctor-patient relationship, Greg Katz, illness coaching, patient empowerment, treatment options | Leave a Comment »
November 2, 2009 by Greg Katz
Ever wonder how fear came into the world? It’s been around ever since living creatures inhabited the planet. I believe some would even say that it was has propelled the genes of certain species forward; keeping them a presence on the planet. Now think about living with a chronic or life-threatening illness and ask yourself, “What role does fear play in my life?” I know it’s like answering the question “What’s the meaning of life”, but I believe you’ll come up with some smart and insightful answers. Then ask yourself, “What does fear allow me not to do on my journey to wellness?”
I do believe that pop culture reflects back to us the questions that are on the minds of the masses. Last week on “Grey’s Anatomy” a patient had what many thought was an inoperable, aggressive spinal tumor. The patient wanted Dr. Shepherd to remove the tumor and after standing in surgery for ten hours he closed the patient without doing anything. When the doctor spoke to the patient he told the patient he couldn’t do the surgery. The patient, as if channeling Buddha or Gandhi said to Dr. Shepherd, “When you are frightened, become inspired!”
I have to tell you that sentence stopped me in my tracks. It’s what Robert Fritz talks about in his book Creating. Fritz says that creativity comes when the culmination of tension is resolved. Something builds up inside us causing this eruptive sense of purpose and creativity to overcome the obstacles placed in our way. In the “Grey’s Anatomy” scenario, Dr. Shepherd went home and had a surgical epiphany, drawing on the walls of the bedroom figuring out how the surgery could in fact be accomplished.
What inner tension will be resolved within you allowing for creative solutions to living with or overcoming your current health challenge? How will you take your own drive and determination and use it as the keys to the kingdom that will provide you with hope on your journey to health and healing?
Posted in Living with Illness, after the diagnosis, coping with chronic illness, coping with life threatening illness, living with chronic illness | Tagged Buddha, coaching illness, Dr. Shepherd Grey's Anatomy, fear, fear and health, fear and illness, Gandhi, Greg Katz, Grey's Anatomy, illness coaching, patient empowerment | Leave a Comment »
October 31, 2009 by Greg Katz
Happy Halloween!!
Can’t believe we’re at the end of October, closing in on the last eight weeks of the year. The healthcare reform debate in Washington makes everything related to healthcare front and center. It could be that because of all the healthcare talk it’s in our consciousness and what has always been there is really being seen, doesn’t matter cause we’ll take it any way we can get it.
I’m finding lots of information about two particular topics, misdiagnosis and drug interactions. Misdiagnosis although decreasing due to better diagnostic techniques is still a cause of death in too many cases. Overwhelmingly the reason seems to be not allowing the patient to tell their story in its entirety. This happens in every profession, in a race to be right we don’t allow the storyteller to complete their story. We miss out on valuable information because the storyteller shuts down and unfortunately when it comes to medicine that could be the key that unlocks the diagnosis.
The other area of concern is drug interactions. I know that there is a desire to find the magic bullet that will cure your health challenge. The problem is that we’re not pharmacists so we don’t understand the interactions. Just because something is sold over the counter doesn’t make ti safe. It may be fine when take by itself, but combine it with anything else, another over the counter medication, a prescription, or a supplement and we begin to have problems. When asked what we’re taking it’s not uncommon to leave out the over the counter meds and the supplements (herbal or otherwise) and that’s a big mistake. The concern is that many contain ingredients that are listed as inactive and too many people don’t consider the impact these inactive ingredients can have on the body.
Want the best care? Before taking anything other than what’s prescribed, contact your pharmacist and do a consult. Don’t wind up in the emergency room because of a drug interaction. Don’t play pharmacist, play informed patient and use the team you’ve assembled that will guide you on your road to wellness.
Posted in Medications | Tagged coaching illness, drug interactions, Greg Katz, herbal supplements, illness coaching, importance of pharmacists, misdiagnosis, over the counter medications, patient empowerment, pharmacists, pharmacists as educators | Leave a Comment »
October 30, 2009 by Greg Katz
Welcome to Caregiver Friday!!
Years ago when I was doing trainings for healthcare/complimentary health providers it was important to understand their level of empathy. It was clear that they had the knowledge to help their patients/clients, but could they really understand the other’s point of view? I started thinking about this because we had a snow storm starting Tuesday evening and we got 24+ inches of snow. I was prepared so there was plenty of food, but it meant that we’d be in the house for at least a couple of days. Started wondering about cabin fever, and for those of you caring for someone who is sick or injured I’m sure this is something that creeps into your consciousness on a regular basis.
The trainings we provided to the healthcare community were called empathy trainings. The goal was to create an environment where they would experience, on the smallest of scales, the challenges of those they were serving. One example was to attach popsicle sticks to their fingers and then ask them to open a jar simulating someone with extreme arthritis. Another example was to put vaseline on a pair of glasses to simulate cataracts and then have them try and get around. Obviously it’s not the real thing, but they were able to begin the process of understanding. Where does this fit in for caregivers? We had them rotate through being called by the empathy participants to receive help in most would consider to be everyday tasks…not to easy.
I guess the truth is that anything can be a learning experience if you frame it that way. Being homebound, not by choice, can create feelings of physical, emotional and spiritual claustrophobia. In places where this type of weather takes away the phone and/or power lines it leaves you isolated. All of these give rise to anxiety that many caregivers experience feelings trapped in their homes unless arrangements are made for an alternate caregiver.
There’s no way to for others to go through an empathy training, but it would be nice. Having others be able to walk a mile in your shoes would bring about different conversations and actions. It would provide greater understanding for what goes on within you on a daily basis and encourages others to reach out more often. Empathy is good because it evens the playing field and brings people to a deeper level of understanding.
Posted in Caregiving | Tagged care for the caregiver, caregiver burnout, caregiver empowerment, caregiver health, caregiver needs, caregiver stress, caregiver support, coaching caregivers, empathy, Greg Katz | Leave a Comment »
October 29, 2009 by Greg Katz
On Tuesday the Wall Street Journal (WSJ) had an article about Imerman Angels (http://www.imermanangels.org) , a Chicago based organization that pairs a mentor with a newly diagnosed person with cancer. The organization matches the mentor and the newly diagnosed patient based on as many parameters as possible, but most importantly age and type of cancer. The implementation of a mentor program is critical when you consider the way healthcare has changed. Yes, technology and research have increased the treatment options and prognosis for patients so now it’s time to pay attention to the person with the diagnosis; their emotional, spiritual and even their practical questions about living with the disease.
The startling part of the article was about survival rates, “…cancer survival among patients ages 25 to 35 hasn’t improved since 1975, according to the National Cancer Institute. Some cancers are less responsive to treatment in young adults than in other age groups. But those patients may be less likely to seek immediate help for symptoms, resulting in a delayed diagnosis, and they often lack insurance.” This is both sad and disturbing. I understand it developmentally; young people don’t believe they’re going to die so a symptom is something stupid that will go away. Unfortunately the other part of the equation, lack of health insurance is an obstacle that has to be addressed. If survival rates haven’t improved for this age group in 34 years then we’ve got a lot to do to change how things are being done.
No matter your diagnosis, finding someone who has blazed the trail is enormously helpful. Having a go-to person who can let you know about the bumps in the road before they happen is a gift of tremendous proportion. Most importantly, having someone who is living proof of what life can be like after your diagnosis provides hope, reduces isolation, and gives you the strength to make the tough choices that come with any diagnosis. Look for a mentor by contacting the nonprofit organization either on the local or national level that represents those with your diagnosis.
Posted in newly diagnosed illness | Tagged Cancer, cancer and hope, Cancer diagnosis, Cancer Support, Cancer Survivor, coaching illness, Greg Katz, health and demographics, health mentors, illness coaching, Imerman Angels, patient empowerment, Wall Street Journal | Leave a Comment »
October 27, 2009 by Greg Katz
Families are funny because they create interesting communication scenarios that complicates life. I had a funny experience with my family this weekend that I want to share and see if you or someone you know has ever experienced something similar.
My parents came for a visit, a long weekend, since we hadn’t seen each other in a while. At one point I’m walking with my dad and he tells me that my mother’s doctor had left a message saying that the blood test she had gone in for came back with results that were elevated. The message also went on to say that my mother needed to go in to speak with the doctor about treatment options (it was a glucose test). My father went on to say that he didn’t want to tell my mother about the test results until their mini-vacation was over so she wouldn’t worry.
A day later my mother, who is technologically challenged, had me look at her cell phone. I noticed she had a small envelope at the top of the screen and told her she had a message. Lo and behold the doctor had left a message about her test results. She didn’t seem scared or anxious at the news, but resolved, like it’s just one more thing. She told me not to tell my dad.
At this point I had to tell each of them that the other knew about the message. What’s the underlying message of the story? Each was trying to protect the other from the news left by the doctor. Like most people my family doesn’t always deal with medical issues that well ( they leave that to me) so a possible diabetes diagnosis was not in the cards. I thought it was sweet that they wanted to protect one another. My dad definitely doesn’t deal with medical issues well, he won’t even take an aspirin when he’s sick, so the idea of treatment of any kind sends him to the stratosphere.
What’s the real essence of the story? We want to believe that we’re protecting others by not sharing news, but that often backfires. You may not think others can handle the news, but you’d be surprised; I certainly was this weekend. When facing a health challenge, or a mental illness the truth is that when we put ourselves in the competent and compassionate care of a good provider the journey is easier. It’s never pleasant, but it does make it easier.
The secret, although well intended, can bind you in uncomfortable communication patterns. Get it out there and free yourself from being bound!
Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged coaching illness, diabetes, family communication, family dynamics, family secrets, glucose test, Greg Katz, illness coaching, new diagnosis, patient empowerment | Leave a Comment »
October 26, 2009 by Greg Katz
I’m still blown away by the Public Service Announcement about mental illness, http://www.bringchange2mind.org, but I’ve been thinking more extensively about why is now the right time to bring this message to consciousness? The truth is that we’ve been pushing mental illness to the background because it’s misunderstood. Even in this day and age people don’t know what bipolar disorder is until you say it’s what used to be called manic-depression. The common belief about schizophrenia is that it’s multiple personality disorder, not sure how that happened. Is this the right time for that public service announcement because we’ve made advances in treatment or public opinion?
Look at physical illnesses like Parkinson’s Disease, until Michael J. Fox announced his diagnosis people didn’t talk about the disease. Organizations that emerged to support Parkinson’s patients gained increased credibility when the Michael J. Fox foundation put money into research, advocacy, and support. Was it Michael J. Fox’s job to bring the disease to the general population’s consciousness? It certainly brought people out of hiding because they now had a visible community for support.
I’ve noticed that in the past two years, during the warm weather, there has been a dramatic increase in Walk-A-Thons for various illnesses. In most cases, it brings out those impacted by the disease both directly and indirectly. Organizations create public relations campaigns to educate the public in hopes of receiving donations. These walk-a-thons are very public announcements about illness. Those who walk self-identify to the world their personal health challenge. As I look back at the notifications I get, I don’t recall ever seeing one for a mental illness organization; they’ve all be physical illness organizations. This get’s back to the question, “When is the time right?”
Are we becoming a more tolerant or accepting people? Are we at the point where most of us have come in contact with someone who is facing a physical illness or mental illness? Does that personal experience make us more compassionate? Are we willing to create conversations about the challenges we or our loved ones are facing? If you have any thoughts on this please share them so we can expand the conversations!
Posted in Emotional Health, Living with Illness, after the diagnosis, coping with chronic illness, coping with life threatening illness, living with chronic illness | Tagged Bipolar Disorder, coaching illness, Glenn Close, Greg Katz, illness coaching, Jessie Close, Mental Illness, Michael J. Fox, multiple personality disorder, Parkinson's Disease, patient empowerment, Schizophrenia | Leave a Comment »
Older Posts »
