Posted in after the diagnosis, coping with chronic illness, coping with life threatening illness, living with chronic illness, Living with Illness

Disappointments

What would make life easier?  I often wonder what would happen if we could write a script for our lives and just hand out the pages for others to learn their lines.  It seems easy enough to do, we know what we want the end of the scene or episode to look like so we write it just like that and move on to the next thing on our agenda.  The trouble is that humans are not only the most adaptable animals on the planet; we’re also the most unpredictable.

Managing disappointment is important to continuing the journey to wellness.  If we let one blip interrupt our momentum then how will we continue our work toward healing?  Disappointments are inevitable.  The hope is that they don’t derail your perseverance and commitment to your health.  Trust me, this isn’t a “pick yourself up by the bootstraps” kind of rhetoric.

What do I know about disappointment?  I know that the animal part of our brains kick in and that we need to go to our corner (wherever that may be) and lick our wounds for a time.  This is where consciousness is important.  It’s important that you know prior to dealing with the disappointment that at least emotionally and spiritually you’ll come out on the other side with a resounding experience of calm.  Knowing that you’ll need time to lick your wounds means that you can inform others that you may need a little time just to sort through the current experience and before moving forward.  This isn’t about giving up, this is about regrouping before creating the next strategy.

I was watching the movie “Sex and the City” this past weekend and following the mishap at the wedding the girls go on what would have been Carrie Bradshaw’s honeymoon.  The first few days, in the midst of enormous personal crisis, Carrie lays in bed with the shutters closed, sleeping and crying for a few days.  Then she emerges from the room and it ready to rejoin the world.  Yes her views have shifted, but she was given the space she needed to regroup and then rejoin the world.  This is the type of script I was talking about at the beginning of the post.

The idea that we have a bump in the road can be disheartening, but it can’t derail your spirit.  It means stopping the train before doing anything out of haste, anger or frustration.  It means giving yourself time to allow the disappointment to rush over you like a wave and then allow it to rush out again, as waves do.  It means that you get to recommit to your health, healing and wellness.  It provides you with a success.

How have you dealt with disappointments?  What lessons have you learned about yourself?

Advertisements