Posted in after the diagnosis, coping with chronic illness, coping with life threatening illness, living with chronic illness, Living with Illness

Contract Negotiations

Do you think the word compromise has gotten a bad rap?  In an age of economic struggle all we hear about these days in Congress are the negotiations for a stimulus package and the negotiations are strained.  We read parenting magazines that discuss the struggles between parent and child over everything from cleaning their room to bedtime to eating.  Is there any place where we don’t engage in negotiations?

If you remember a couple of weeks ago I referenced Dr. Mehmet Oz when he referred to auto-immune disease as a Civil War.  During times of war if diplomacy is to work then negotiations have to be the focus.  The question is who do we negotiate with?  If you think of Elizabeth Kubler Ross’ stages of grief you know that bargaining is one of the stages.  During those times we often make a deal with God or some higher source that if we get well, in return we’ll _____(you fill in the blank).  For many whether it’s divine intervention or the stars in alignment we begin to make promises with the expectations that we’ll get something in return.

How good are we as negotiators?  I’m afraid the research shows that we’re great at negotiating but lousy at following through on the promises we make.  You would think that when it comes to our health the promises we make wouldn’t be just words but a sacred contract.  How is it that we can enter negotiations without expecting to share any of the burden?  What is it about false promises that boost our engagement but then we plummet into the ravine like the crash following a sugar rush.

Does your word mean anything?  How will you take you at your word when negotiating with your body for wellness?  What do you have to offer in the negotiations?  How will you feel when you not only successfully negotiate the terms of your healing but follow through on your end of the bargain?  Don’t you feel that you’ll be more at peace if you know that you stand by your intentions by having your actions match your decisions?  What’s one small thing you’d like to negotiation for today?  I’d love to know how you’re managing the negotiations!