Posted in after the diagnosis, coping with chronic illness, coping with life threatening illness, living with chronic illness, Living with Illness

Fix Me

I listen to a lot of music and when I find something that speaks to me I listen to it over and over again.  One of the things I look for is to find music that has a message.  I like to be able to reinforce my thoughts and beliefs with music because the words and melody continue to play in my head.

Over the summer I rented the movie “Joyful Noise”.  The movie stars two music greats, Queen Latifah and Dolly Parton.  It focuses on a small town’s church choir and their desire to win a singing competition.  One of the subplots is between Queen Latifah’s character and her daughter.  A scene shows Queen Latifah’s character in the church playing the piano and singing a song titled, “Fix Me”.  She’s praying through song.  She’s hoping to appeal to her God to mend fences and show her a path that is healing.

It got me thinking about how many times do we ask/pray to be fixed.  Following the diagnosis of a chronic or life-threatening illness sparks internal conflict and potentially even conflict within their spiritual/religious life.  It’s not a surprise that we want to be “fixed” because they went of course.  We never know what causes illness, because some who have identical lifestyles never see a day of sickness.  So why do we really feel we need to be “fixed”.

One possibility is that we feel that our lives have been lacking some essential ingredient.  If that’s the case then instead of “fix me”, maybe we can shift to “fulfill me”.  The idea of finding what’s missing and making changes improves our health in body, mind, and spirit.

Another possible explanation would be that we haven’t met our potential.  If that’s the case then maybe it’s not “fix me”, but “extend me”.  Allow me to stretch and reach new heights, allowing me to reach my highest good.

“Fix me” makes me think I’m broken and I don’t believe that about anyone.  Facing a health challenge isn’t about being broken; it’s about being challenged.  It’s about being sent on a journey, not of your own choosing, pushing you to go within to new and deeper levels.  It’s not necessarily joyful until you get to your destination, but the journey to health and healing can have some amazing outcomes.

How would you like to shift the notion of “fix me”?