I Felt the Earth Move

Welcome to Caregiver Friday!

What a week it has been, the inauguration of a new President, the confirmation of most of the President’s Cabinet, Executive orders being signed on a daily basis and of course what would the week be without the scoop on what everyone wore to all the ceremonies.  It’s easy to get caught up in all the pomp and circumstance but when the dust settles our lives haven’t changed quite yet…aside from the feeling of encouragement (that’s big).

One of the things about being a caregiver/wellness partner is you live your life like so many Californians who live on the earthquake faults.  There is a something that takes place below the surface of the earth and it’s not until it becomes to unbearable does Mother Nature decide to relieve the pressure with the initiation of an earthquake.  Once the pressure is relieved there is a calm, at least below the surface, and chaos for us humans living on the surface.

How are you handling the ground, physically, emotionally and spiritually continuously shifting under your feet; or in this case in your heart.  Most of us don’t do well with uncertainty and yet caregivers are in a constant state of uncertainty.  At least the patient knows what it feels like to be in their body, but you, the caregiver, are dependent upon a host of people to piece together the experience.

What’s the most difficult aspect of living with uncertainty?  For many caregivers I speak to it interferes with the concept of “the plan”.  “The plan” is the roadmap created to promote one’s own sense of security and stability.  See, we go back to the idea that uncertainty is unnerving.  It’s like walking on the beach and the sand shifting below you, you’re in a constant state of trying to maintain your balance.  How do you do that in the role of the caregiver/wellness partner?

Creating a sense of stability can’t be dependent on anyone but you.  You have an internal desire, need, desire to maintain equilibrium.  It’s this sense of balance that is the bedrock of their sense of self.  Maintaining a sense of surety, at least in one’s own convictions and intentions allows you to create a sense of normalcy, something you may not have experienced since the day of the diagnosis.

If you haven’t attained that sense of stability what one thing can you do today that will move you in that direction?  Is there something or someone you can access who can assist you in stopping the sands from shifting?  When you’re mindful of the ground under your feet, both literally and figuratively, you’ll begin the stabilization process and that reduces your stress and increases your ability to cope with the uncertainty of being a caregiver.