Posted in after the diagnosis, coping with chronic illness, coping with life threatening illness, living with chronic illness, Living with Illness

All is Fair in Love and War

Welcome to Caregiver Friday!

How do we decide which issues in our lives are most important?  How do you determine how you’ll devote your time, effort, and attention as you walk this world as a caregiver/wellness partner?  If you’re looking for easy answers to these questions then you’re in for a big surprise.  The truth is that life is full of trade-offs.  Trade-offs are not the same as compromise; it’s about making distinctions between picking your battles.  You are charged with the responsibility of accomplishing your mission, however you define that, at any cost because lives depend on it.

If all is fair in love and war, then during these difficult times we’re facing a revolution.  The revolution is not about economics; it’s about the willingness of each person to dig deep and make decisions based on values not what will get you the biggest benefits.  Digging deep as a caregiver requires that you draw back far enough to look at the big picture instead of getting caught up in the minutia.  The big picture is twofold, it requires that you face the difficult decisions about how best to support your loved one; while at the same time keeping your head above water emotionally and spiritually. 

The revolution has arrived because you’re forced during these difficult times to speak louder, act faster, and delve deeper into your own soul.  As a child of the revolution you’re being drafted into action.  The hope is that eventually you’ll enlist, but for now go kicking and screaming because that energy will carry you far.  As a caregiver/wellness partner your life is full of uncertainty.  The uncertainty is about the day-to-day actions.  The fortunate part is that if you want your life to be filled with certainty then your attention has to shift from external issues to internal issues.  The revolution encourages free thinkers who will look at the human spirit as a messenger for health and healing.  You’re the grease that keeps the gears lubricated for those facing a chronic or life-threatening illness.  Can you think of anything more socially or spiritually powerful?

Don’t be afraid of the revolution; be afraid of not being a part of the revolution.  Your love, support and dedication to the patient is the greatest demonstration of non-violent demonstration.  It reinforces your internal commitment to your loved one and at the same time creating a space for you to voice the importance that caregivers play in healthcare and the journey to wellness.


I've lived my life in service to others. I'm focused on mental health and how it impacts our relationships, culture, and society. Through creative expression and narrative I believe we can impact change.

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