Posted in Caregiving

When the Other Shoe Drops

Welcome to Caregiver Friday!!

Are you still holding your breath?   Maybe not literally, maybe just figuratively, but after the diagnosis of your loved one and some type of improvement you’ve been holding your breath believing that as long as you do nothing will happen.  It’s unfortunate that superstition doesn’t work because I think we’d have a huge portion of the population turning blue in the face holding their breath.  The truth is we don’t have a crystal ball and reading the stars isn’t conclusive and sometimes things don’t go as planned.  It’s time to let out the breath because the set back you may be experiencing with the person you’re caring for has to take center stage.

I know that some may tell you to buck up and be strong; I think that comes with time.  First things first, go to the corner (wherever you believe that to be) and lick your wounds.  These aren’t physical wounds but emotional and spiritual wounds.  You didn’t do anything wrong, that one missed dose of medication didn’t set this in motion so let yourself off the hook.  Not giving the person you’re caring for only organic food didn’t set this in motion.  This is as much a let down and a disappointment for you as it is for the person with the diagnosis.  Give yourself a bit of time to grieve what you lost in the immediate time and start looking for the “what’s next”.

It can seem like a revolving door, but that’s the nature of things.  We seldom get definitive conclusion on anything except death and I’m sure there are people who would debate that with me.  The focus has to be to keep the revolving door moving.  When I was a kid I loved going through revolving doors at the department store.  Every so often I would go in and my father would place his foot in the door stopping the door from turning me, trapping me inside.  The first thing I did was panic because I didn’t know what was happening.  Then I looked and saw that he was the mastermind behind the situation and it eased my anxiety.  Keep the door moving and see what emerges…you’ll know what’s next because things will keep evolving.


I've lived my life in service to others. I'm focused on mental health and how it impacts our relationships, culture, and society. Through creative expression and narrative I believe we can impact change.

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