Posted in Caregiving

Are You Working Toward Sainthood?

Welcome to 2010! and Welcome to Caregiver Friday!

New years are great because we celebrate.  We try to stay up till midnight, but if you’re like my mother you may tape it and see the festivities in the morning.  I don’t have to tell you how stressful the holiday season is and trying to balance the festivities with the realities is exhausting.  Why are you over-burdening yourself?

The immediate response is out of love and compassion.  You try being the best person by being the best caregiver and the equation doesn’t compute.  You’re a magnificent being because you were born.  This isn’t a time in your life when you have to prove anything to anyone.  You are more than enough.  So what are you striving for?

Are you striving for sainthood?  I often thought about that as I gave my all in the nonprofit sector; helping people and families facing insurmountable odds.  People would tell me don’t fret because I’m doing everything possible.  Maybe I was working toward sainthood, but then I had a revelation.  First is that I’m the wrong religion.  I don’t know too many Jewish saints.  Next was  the chances of me performing three miracles that could be documented is a bit far-reaching.  The only miracle I’m hoping for is the willpower to get to the gym.

Why is it that so many caregivers/wellness partners start their sentences with “If only”.  “If only” what?  If only you could cure a disease?  If only you had one the lottery so you could hire a staff of researchers to change the course of history?  If only you had more stamina, tolerance, and compassion?  You have plenty, believe me otherwise you would have abandoned the caregiver role a long time ago.

Where does this leave you in your journey?  It leaves you working toward acceptance.  The person you’re caring for had to accept their diagnosis and so do you.  The person you’re caring for, hopefully has learned that setting an intention for health and healing is critical to their well-being and you must do the same.

We all have limitations and that doesn’t make us any less of a good person or effective in the roles we pursue, or are annointed with in life.  Limitations aren’t good are bad, they just are!  Acceptance of what’s possible will keep you on track toward being the best possible caregiver.  Please don’t sell yourself short and certainly make yourself a priority in this journey!


I've lived my life in service to others. I'm focused on mental health and how it impacts our relationships, culture, and society. Through creative expression and narrative I believe we can impact change.

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