Posted in after the diagnosis, coping with chronic illness, coping with life threatening illness, living with chronic illness, Living with Illness

It’s Time to Come Clean

Remember those little white lies you told as a child hoping no one would find out the truth?  Even as we age those little white lies creep into our brain and come full throttle out of our mouths.  Is it unavoidable?  Maybe not, but should we be drawing a line in the sand about the lies we tell?  Actually, maybe it’s not about the lies we tell others, but about the lies we tell our selves.  I’m not sure what color those lies are, but they aren’t white because they can lead to dire consequences.

I’ve been in many exam rooms with patients when I worked in a health clinic and I’m amazed how many clients embellish the truth (that sounds better than lying).  I remember working at a drug and alcohol outpatient center and the director told us that when doing an intake if a person tells you they drink 2 to 3 beers a day double it if not triple it and you’ll have the truth. 

I remember the movie, Same Time Next Year, with Alan Alda and Ellen Burstyn.  He tells her that he has two children.  Later on in the story he says he has three and she asks, “Why didn’t you tell me the truth about how many kids you have?”  he replied, “Only having two made me seem less married.”

We have such a strong need to look good in the eyes of others that we may be short-changing our healthcare.  I know that I’m guilty of telling the doctor that I take my medication religiously and don’t know why I had a flare, but if you actually look at the date on the Rx bottle you’ll see that there have been times when the 60 day supply last 75 days…you think I missed a few days?  Why did I do it?  I didn’t want to seem like a non-compliant patient, and I didn’t want the doctor to think I didn’t take my health seriously.

Truth be told I was a bit ashamed…but as I learn more about my body, develop a stronger relationship with my doctor and stay turned in to my physical being I’m in better shape.

What are you holding back from your provider?  It doesn’t even have to be a physical issue.  Perhaps you sleep too much, don’t eat enough, or feel sad all the time.  You don’t have to seem like the happiest person on the planet when you speak with your doctor.  Your honesty will serve both of you.  The doctor will be able to make an appropriate diagnosis and get you the treatment or support you need.

I know we live in a judgmental culture, but the place we have to start is with ourselves.  Stop judging yourself.  Stop beating yourself up.  Begin having faith in you!!!


I've lived my life in service to others. I'm focused on mental health and how it impacts our relationships, culture, and society. Through creative expression and narrative I believe we can impact change.

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