Posted in after the diagnosis, Emotional Health

Are You Chasing Your Own Tail?

One of the things I’ve learned over the years is that perfection is a great ideal, but in reality just makes you chase your own tail.  You move very fast, but don’t get very far, and that’s exhausting.  So what is it about perfection that drives us to have ridiculous expectations of others and ourselves.  Perfection is a nice idea, but as a goal to strive for seems pointless.

Last week on, “Oprah Winfrey’s Master Class”, Jane Fonda put it so simple and elegant, she said, “We’re not meant to be perfect; we’re meant to be whole.”  At first glance you may expect that perfection and being whole would be synonymous, but perfection leads us away from being whole.  It drives us deeper and deeper away from our true selves.  Trying to be perfect creates an emotional and spiritual wedge that prevents us from achieving peace.  It doesn’t give us the momentum we need for health and healing.

After receiving a diagnosis of a chronic or life-altering illness you would think that perfection would mean being well.  However, for many, the illness creates deeper problems than just physical.  Creating a space of inner wholeness will ignite your immune system to work at its best level.  Whether the outcome is getting better or getting well, wholeness allows you to eradicate the negative that often compromises your immune system.

Let’s face it, no life is perfect.  When you feel like you’re a hamster on a hamster wheel stop and ask yourself if you’re expecting perfection.  If you dig deep enough and the answer is yet, you’re sabotaging your own wellness and happiness.  If this is the case, then I urge you to begin looking within and asking yourself what would make you feel more whole in the moment.  How can you create a space that will promote wholeness.

Consider what’s keeping you from feeling whole.  Resentments, tolerations, and unrealistic expectations are often the culprit that tease us to work toward perfection.  You think that if you work hard enough you can reduce the impact the resentment, toleration, or unrealistic expectation has on your daily life.  Stop and think about that for a moment, does that make any sense?  What could you accomplish if you released those negative energies and apply all that focus on your own wholeness.

Be like Jane Fonda and stop striving for perfection and strive for wholeness!


I've lived my life in service to others. I'm focused on mental health and how it impacts our relationships, culture, and society. Through creative expression and narrative I believe we can impact change.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s