Posted in after the diagnosis, coping with chronic illness, coping with life threatening illness, living with chronic illness, Living with Illness, Spirituality and Health

Soul Transparency

This is probably one of the most personal posts I’ve written, but the experience was so striking I wanted to share it with you.  I was at the park last week and going about my business.  Usually I go to the park to read or do some writing, but I was sitting in my car just thinking about the day when unbeknownst to me, I was being observed.

I was sitting quietly in my car when a woman who was getting in the car next to me approached my window.  She asked if I wanted her to pray for me; figuring I could use all the help I could muster I said YES.  Her prayer was sweet and meaningful, although obviously Christian (only mention it because I’m Jewish).  She finished her prayer, offered me some literature and then went on her way.

The kind woman pulled out of her parking spot to leave and immediately pulled back in next to me.  She got back out of her car and asked me if I wanted her to wait while I reviewed the literature in case had any questions that she could answer for me.  I politely declined, but didn’t feel like she believed me totally.  She left the parking lot and I was dazed and confused.

I began thinking about how transparent I might be if she were able to pick up a vibe calling out for help.  I didn’t feel particularly needy or distressed that day, but I’m suspecting I had an aura that said something different than my personal experience.  It made me begin wondering about how transparent I am, and how much of my soul cries out even without me being aware.

When we’re challenged in life how much does our soul reveal about us?  What does the soul do to catch the attention of others bringing people into our lives who may be able to ease our pain.  When diagnosed with a chronic or life-threatening illness those times may be come and go, but are we really aware when challenges arise on our health pilgrimage?  Do we acknowledge the challenges and allow them to serve as teachers?  This experience happened over a week ago and I’ve been contemplating it every day since it happened.  I keep wondering why this woman was brought into my life and what was she leading me to see that I couldn’t or still can’t.

Having a health challenge may serve to mask our connection to our soul, but when people intervene, such as this woman, does it reconnect us more authentically?  I’ll continue thinking about this experience and continue searching for the meaning of this meeting.  I’m thankful that there are people in the world intuitive enough and courageous enough to intervene.  As I wrote in that post the other day, “I may not know her, but I’ll never forget her”!

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