There is a lot of misery in the world. If misery didn’t exist, the news outlets would have nothing to report. Could it be that our psyches would feel incomplete without misery? They do say that we can’t have one thing without its opposite, so are they saying we can’t have happiness without misery?
In a post last week I shared the story of Stephen Sutton, the teen who died at the age of 19 after a four-year battle with bowel cancer. Out what some might say was his personal misery emerged the Teenage Cancer Trust (teenagecancertrust.org). A little over a year ago I shared the story of Zach Sobiech whose song “Clouds”, caught the attention of millions on YouTube, expressing joy in the time he was given on this earth. How can we judge another’s misery? Do we project our experience of misery onto others?
The Dalai Lama has a prayer, “For as long as space exists and sentiment endures, may I, too, remain to dispel misery in the world.” When I first read this prayer I felt a deep connection to the Dalai Lama’s mission.
I’ve spent my entire adult life working with those facing chronic and life-threatening illnesses. It’s not always easy. I remember one day when four of my clients died on the same day. It was heart wrenching. I had never experienced that much loss simultaneously. I would share information like this with my mother and she would ask why did I stay in this field of work. Her big question was always, “Why can’t you just work with people who shop too much?”
I’m no Dalai Lama, prophet, or diviner. I’m simply a guy who knows in his heart of hearts that I was born to diminish the suffering or challenges faced by those diagnosed with a chronic or life-threatening illness. I’ve been on this path since I was a child when I held my first Ronald McDonald Muscular Dystrophy Carnival in the backyard of the apartment building where we lived.
There is a saying that pain is unavoidable but misery is optional. I often wonder if that was someone who hadn’t tapped into his or her own pain and misery. How we frame things is key to our experience. How we frame things is based on our personal histories; the experiences that give us a context or provide meaning.
I’ll continue on this journey to end misery not because it’s noble, but because it’s coded in my DNA. I’ll seek out avenues for those facing challenges to emerge with dignity. I’m determined to provide opportunities for anyone facing a challenge to reframe their experience, if they so desire. I hope you’ll join me as I engage the prayer by the Dalai Lama as part of my life’s mission!
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Pilgrim Pathway/Surviving Strong 