Welcome to Caregiver Friday!
How is it that we all have opinions about everything even if we’ve never had the experience we have an opinion about? We self-appoint ourselves as experts as it pertains to everything believing that our opinions will change the world. Well I have news for you, I learned a very important lesson a couple of years ago that I want to share with you.
I was enrolled in a class on “Advanced Spiritual Business Development”. I didn’t get very much from the class, but I did hear one thing that stands out head and shoulders above all the other information…”Speak about what you’ve earned the right to speak about”. Now if you’re a caregiver/wellness partner I’m preaching to the choir. Maybe the real audience for this article are the many friends, family and colleagues who mean well but want to “share” with you how best to care or partner with your loved one.
If it were directly following the diagnosis and you’re in shock the information, although overwhelming, may be helpful. Once the shock wears off the opinions that try and persuade you about the “right” way to be a caregiver can and is often very annoying. So what’s the problem? The problem is that the advice is often given out of love (notice I said often, there are those times when people just want to be a pain in the a–), so how do you cut them off from helping?
As a caregiver/wellness partner I hope you’ll come to understand and accept that you can’t be all things to all people. The only actions and opinions that really count are those between you and the person you’re caring for, the others are miscellaneous noise that distract you from your very important mission.
Understand that you can’t please all of the people all of the time. In fact, understand that you can’t please most or even some of the people some of the time so stop trying. You have a covenant with the person you’re caring for that is based on history, love, and compassion. You’ve reached certain agreements with the person you’re supporting so that you can be of the greatest service while still honoring your own humanity.
No one said caregiving was going to be easy, but don’t make it more difficult by taking any or all of the criticism to heart. Take it as a show of concern and let it fly out the window, up to the sky and into the atmosphere. Who knows maybe it will land on someone who really needs it!