Category: Emotional Health

Posted in after the diagnosis, coping with chronic illness, coping with life threatening illness, Emotional Health, living with chronic illness, overcoming adversity, Spirituality and Health

Lessons from the Road Part 3: People at Work

Posted on by Rev. Greg Katz, MS, PhD

Ever cross the country on one of the Interstate highways created during the Eisenhower administration? I can’t imagine traveling cross-country and having to meander through small towns trying to find the most direct route to my destination. I’m grateful for these highways and byways and for the men and women who keep the roads in good shape.

There are signs on the roadside where work is being done that says, “Hit a worker and receive a $10,000 fine and 14 years in jail.” That’s quite a hefty price to pay, but we’ve been warned so driving recklessly through these work zones is sheer stupidity. It always makes me nervous driving through these zones because there are always anxious, tail riding drivers behind me; no matter, I stand my ground and drive the reduced speed limit. We need these roads to be in the best condition possible to make travel safe.

The same is true as we live our lives. Our personal infrastructure is critical to living a good life. Our physical, emotional, and spiritual lives are always in flux. There are definitive steps we can take to insure that we keep ourselves in the best possible state-of-being. We can pay attention to the needs of our body, mind, and spirit to provide a foundation for a life filled with health, joy, and peace.

What are the work zones in your life? Where are there areas where you need to slow down, pay attention, and take steps to shore up those aspects of your life? What are you reading? What are you creating? What are you exploring? What actions do you take when you have moments of insight? We know that if you don’t pay attention to your personal infrastructure, just like the roads we travel, your body, mind, and spirit will begin to deteriorate. This deterioration creates physical ailments such as migraines, back pain, and gastro-intestinal trouble as some examples. The huge increase in depression and anxiety across the lifespan is evidence that our emotional infrastructure, as a society, is in need of attention. The number of suicides, and the number of people on antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs is staggering.

Life doesn’t come without a price and I’m not talking about financial. I’m referring to the energy and attention that is required to propel us toward health and healing. We can’t live our lives on autopilot. We need to pay the price such as exercising, praying, meditating, therapy, or creative outlets of our emotional lives. Create your own work zone, it works for our country and it will work for you!

Facing adversity and looking for education, support, and inspiration?  Visit http://www.survivingstrong.com

Want to explore your creative side to use as the roadwork for your body, mind, and spirit?  Visit http://www.timetolivecreatively.com

Follow me on Twitter: @GregKatz2

Posted in after the diagnosis, coping with chronic illness, coping with life threatening illness, Emotional Health, living with chronic illness, overcoming adversity

Enjoy Your Own Company

Posted on by Rev. Greg Katz, MS, PhD

We’re social creatures. We spend most of our days interacting with people in our family, our work situations, and our civic/social arenas. We’re connected by phone and email so we’re never out of reach from anyone. What has become a social world, interacting as part of our human process, has become a noisy world. We’re trying to find more and more ways of being together and sometimes I wonder if it’s because we’re afraid of being alone.

I do make a distinction between alone and lonely. Being alone is a choice we make to cut off from others for some quiet time. Lonely is a social deprivation that for many can lead to many physical, emotional, and spiritual problems. When we’re alone we give ourselves the opportunity to hear our thoughts without interruption. It gives us time to think about what we really want and need so we can set our priorities.

The other aspect of being alone is when we do things singularly. How many times have you decided not to go to the movie, the theater, a party, or a host of other social outlets because there was no one to accompany you? Going alone means enjoying your own company. It allows you to say to yourself, “I’m enough”, in order to achieve that you have to enjoy your own company. You need to make peace with you in all its glory.

Be your own date! When you connect to enjoying your own company you can delve into interests that are uniquely yours, avoiding a go with the flow mentality. You can express yourself through speech, dress, or even affiliations.

Enjoying your own company is about giving the world the you it deserves. It’s allowing your voice to shine through adding to the symphony we all life. We need your voice, your beliefs, and your presence. We need you to share what you know, what you need to learn, and what you can teach. On the flip side, you need to feel confident in who you’ve become. You need to “accentuate the positive”. The world is hoping and expecting you to show up in all your glory.

Facing the diagnosis of a chronic or life-threatening illness?  Don’t do it alone?  Visit http://www.survivingstrong.com

Learn how to Enjoy your own company through art.  Visit http://www.timetolivecreatively.com

Posted in after the diagnosis, coping with chronic illness, coping with life threatening illness, Emotional Health, living with chronic illness, overcoming adversity

Life is a Series of Adjustments

Posted on by Rev. Greg Katz, MS, PhD

It would be wonderful if life were predictable. You may have behaviors that are predictable, but only within a given context. We don’t have any notion of what tomorrow will bring and I’m not saying that just to be cliché. We can make assumptions about what’s ahead of us, but until we live it there are no guarantees.

Think about when you drive a car. You start to drive and your goal is to keep the wheels straight. In order to do that you make adjustments with the steering wheel. Throughout your drive you’ll make minor adjustments multiple times or you would have crashed into numerous other vehicles.

It seems to me that life works the same way. Within certain parameters we live our lives with a certain degree of certainty. We go to the same coffee shop, exercise at the same gym, or go to the same movie theater. However, what happens when there’s a long line at your coffee shop and there’s another shop around the corner? What do you do when the aerobics class you want to take at the gym is full? These are minor adjustments, but they direct you to different actions.

When facing a challenge whether it is health or some other form of life interruption, adjustments become more the norm than the exception. We find ourselves making adjustments with our time and resources. We modify (an adjustment) our workout routines depending on our energy level. We begin to ask questions that are deeper in nature because we’re looking for a solution to the interruption life has set at our feet.

We have to be careful not to over-adjust. I’ve met numerous people who think the way to solve their challenge is to do a complete 180 in their behavior. It’s important to remember that more is not always better. Minor adjustments may be just the thing to keep your life’s status quo.

It’s not uncommon for us to over adjust when we feel anxious, uncertain, or scared. We’ve been conditioned for the quick fix. This is most prominent in the diet industry where big results in a short amount of time headlines every commercial. Learning to take care of your body is paramount to good health and keeping off the weight. If you don’t learn how to “eat” without the program are you willing to make the “program” your new lifestyle instead of a quick fix?

I wrote a post earlier in the week about the importance of learning. We must learn healthful ways of reducing stress, alleviating pain, or minimizing distress. There are resources such as meditation, journaling, or moderate exercise that relieve stress and allow you to become better acquainted with your body, mind, and spirit.

Watch for those minor adjustments through the day. Be conscious of these adjustments and make sure you don’t drive out of your lane!

Facing a challenge in your life?  Looking for education, support, and inspiration?  Visit http://www.survivingstrong.com

Want to ease your adjustments with your creativity?  Visit http://www.timetolivecreatively.com

Posted in after the diagnosis, coping with chronic illness, coping with life threatening illness, Emotional Health, living with chronic illness, overcoming adversity

Mining for Joy

Posted on by Rev. Greg Katz, MS, PhD

Joy to the World, a famous Christmas carol that presents with vim and vigor. Joy is one of those things we talk a lot about, but it’s really something we feel. It’s a exuberance and elation that seeps from your pores. It surrounds you and it lifts you above the pain and challenges life throws your way.

The challenges we face on the physical, emotional, and spiritual planes rob us of many pleasurable experiences. It leaves us feeling depleted and if you didn’t leave a breadcrumb trail, finding where joy lives can be difficult.

Joseph Campbell said, “Find a place inside where there is joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.” That’s a powerful statement. Campbell speaks about the healing powers of joy. He punctuates the need for joy, not as something that is playful, but something that is healing, almost curative for woes.

All to often we think of joy as superfluous. We’ve been brainwashed to believe that joy is luxury. If you ascribe to Campbell’s quote, then you believe that joy is a nonnegotiable component of living a good life. The challenges we face are draining and joy is rejuvenating. It short-circuits the negative impact of the pain we experience when we’re striving to find a place of peace and comfort.

Don’t think of joy as something cute. It’s a powerful healing emotion.

Facing a painful experience?  Looking for education, support, and inspiration?  Visit http://www.survivingstrong.com

Hoping to experience joy through art?  Visit http://www.timetolivecreatively.com

Posted in after the diagnosis, coping with chronic illness, coping with life threatening illness, Emotional Health, living with chronic illness, overcoming adversity

Put a Tiger in Your Tank

Posted on by Rev. Greg Katz, MS, PhD

We live very busy lives. Our schedules have become overwhelming and infringes on time for relaxation. Technology, although vitally important, robs many of time and energy because work is accessible all the time. The cell phone has made us all available twenty-four hours a day. We haven’t quite learned to set limits and as a result feelings of depletion prevail.

Now take your schedule and add some stressor to the equation. It doesn’t matter what the stressor is, it can be physical, emotional, or spiritual the impact is often similar, you compound the negative impact. The body, mind, and spirit don’t respond arithmetically; they respond exponentially. Your run great risks to your personal health and it’s difficult to stop that downward spiral without some type of intervention.

It’s critical in our modern day life to continually charge your battery. Energy is finite. Our body, mind, and spirit don’t produce energy without fuel. It requires us to fill our tanks in order to continue our journey. How do you fill your tank?

Love is a great fuel source. Having those who provide you with warm and kind thoughts, a great hug, and unconditional love is phenomenal renewable energy source. The ability to receive love is a profound experience. Having the capacity to accept such powerful energy is a blessing.

Compassion is a great fuel source. Our fuel tank is filled when compassion flows both ways. Compassion provides us with a safe container to move through what challenges us. It doesn’t require us taking on the challenges of others, or them taking on our challenges, but a deep understanding of each other’s experience.

Fun is a great fuel source. It’s okay to be serious, but without fun we have no balance. Fun is fundamental to living a full live. It can relieve stress, eliminate negative energy and impact your physical being. When we have fun we laugh. Laughter has been shown to be a natural analgesic for our bodies. It also provides us with the ability to change our priorities releasing some of the ties that bind us to our challenges.

How do you fill your tank? What have your discovered to be a renewable energy source? Share it with others, share it with us!

Facing a challenge in your life?  Looking for education, support, and inspiration?  Visit http://www.survivingstrong.com

Want to explore how art impacts healing and can fill your tank?  Visit http://www.timetolivecreatively.com

Posted in after the diagnosis, coping with chronic illness, coping with life threatening illness, Emotional Health, living with chronic illness, Living with Illness, Medications, overcoming adversity

Mindfulness Demonstrated…It’s Amazing

Posted on by Rev. Greg Katz, MS, PhD

We hear a lot about mindfulness and engaging in the practice of mindfulness, but have you seen the impact for yourself? We’re told over and over that mindfulness is the key to inner peace, allowing us to focus on what’s important. If you’re one of the skeptics allow me to share my most recent finding.

A couple of weeks ago I spoke about the importance of meditation as outlined by Dan Harris in 10% Happier. Harris had a panic attack while reporting on Good Morning America. After much soul searching, psychiatrist visits, and retreats he concluded that meditation is the one thing that brings him to center and has improved his life.

I’m a seeker. I love learning new things, exploring the things that capture my attention, and expand what I think is possible. I look for reporters that are covering topics we would like to breeze by because they make us uncomfortable. Lisa Ling is one of those reporters. Ling’s show Our America with Lisa Ling, airs on OWN (the Oprah Winfrey Network), tackles tough issues that we grapple with every day. Her latest show was about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

There are fifteen million people in the United States diagnosed with ADHD, most of them children. It’s disruptive to the lives of the children and their families. It leaves school systems feeling helpless and at odds with how to provide an education to these kids without interfering with their regular school programs. The episode followed those who are taking medication, as many do, and a case where an alternative to medication was used.

Wilson, a child with ADHD and oppositional defiant disorder was struggling through school. Things got so bad that in the second grade he told his mother that if he had to go back to school he was going to commit suicide. Fortunately his mother, an educator, hired an education advocate and they found salvation at The Hunter School.

The Hunter School is a unique boarding and therapeutic school helping young children with ADHD, Anxiety, Sensory and related conditions(taken from their website, www.hunterschool.org). The first shift in perspective came from the administrator. She reframed ADHD as a diagnosis to calling these children Energetically Sensitive.  It shifted the cloud hanging over these kids to blue skies of hope.

The school is truly unique. The student teacher ratio is 1:3, unheard of in the American education system. The school takes a holistic approach, no medication. In its place the children are taught to meditate. They are guided in techniques to center themselves. If a child is disruptive in the classroom he or she is taken out of the class and brought to the mindful room where the student and the teacher work on refocusing, centering, and strategizing about ways to regain control.

Wilson, the student I spoke about earlier is thriving. He lives at the school during the week. His life has totally changed. He feels re-invented. He’s learned to structure his life so it’s manageable. He is renewed body, mind, and spirit. He eloquently discusses his new lease on life.

I understand that not every child has access to an educational institution like The Hunter School, but the school model is one we need to explore. The next question is if it works for kids, what could the impact be for adults. Dan Harris talks about the impact of going on a ten-day silent retreat and other meditation revelations.

I’m not saying that mindfulness is a cure for everything, but explore it. If you’re feeling anxious, depressed, angry or simply out-of-sorts, explore the impact of mindfulness. As always I’m not saying this is the definitive answer. You should always consult with a therapist, coach, or spiritual director to explore your options so your choices are made with informed consent.

Facing Adversity?  Diagnosed with a chronic or life-threatening illness?  Looking for education, support, and inspiration?  Visit http://www.survivingstrong.com

Exploring how Art impacts healing the body, mind, and spirit?  Visit http://www.timetolivecreatively.com

Posted in after the diagnosis, coping with chronic illness, coping with life threatening illness, Emotional Health, living with chronic illness, newly diagnosed illness

Scare Away the Dark

Posted on by Rev. Greg Katz, MS, PhD

One of the things I’ve always liked about Halloween is the idea of scary masks, parties with dry ice making smoke/fog, and of course candy. Horror movies try to scare us by catching us off guard, utilizing the age-old element of surprise as its weapon. Our fears are also scary. Yesterday I was asked if I was scared of anything and all I could think of was really high heights. I’m sure there are things lurking that I’m unaware of, and when they arise, I hope I can scare away the dark.

When we face adversity we often experience darkness, and heaviness sets in our body, mind, and spirit causing despair. Its goal, if you let it, is to deflate you. Utilize all your resources to fight the dark; you need those forces for health and healing. Those dark places want to take hold with the force of a vice and convince you that there are no better days ahead (the reality is there may not be, but scaring away the dark to gain a sense of peace is helpful).

The other problem with those dark places is they distort reality. Ever go to the carnival and look at the mirrors that elongate your body, or make you look like the Michelin Man? When we live in the dark (not insinuating you’re a mushroom), we lose perspective. Every experience is filtered through these dark lenses and it leads us to make less than helpful or healing decisions.

What can you do to scare away the dark? My go-to response it gather support. There is something amazingly healing when you receive love and friendship from others. I assure you their perspective is quite different from yours and at least you can see things from another point of view. Support groups are helpful because the folks in the groups are on the same pilgrimage. You’ll get lots of perspectives, some helpful and some not so helpful, but it opens you up to the range of possibility.

Read lots of autobiographies, memoirs, and pathographies, even blogs. See how others have used their internal resources to scare away the dark. It takes effort and it takes work. Depending on the circumstances of your life it may be ongoing or it may be short lived, either way you need to seek out sources of light.

Pretend every day is Halloween. Go find your scariest mask, it may as simple as a thought, and use that mask to scare away the darkness. Who knows, there may be a treat waiting for you on the other end.

Diagnosed with a chronic or life-threatening illness or facing some other adversity?  Looking for education, support, and inspiration?  Visit http://www.survivingstrong.com

Interested in how Art Heals?  Visit http://www.timetolivecreatively.com

Posted in after the diagnosis, coping with chronic illness, coping with life threatening illness, Emotional Health, living with chronic illness, Living with Illness

Behind Closed Doors

Posted on by Rev. Greg Katz, MS, PhD

We have two lives, the one we show to the world and the one behind closed doors. If we’re lucky the two really mirror each other. Unfortunately, there are plenty who have one persona in the world and another behind closed doors. We project qualities and characteristics based on what we see from the outside, but how do we get in? What allows us to see behind the front doors we pass?

I remember an episode of Oprah where she interviewed women who were socio-economically well off, lived in big homes with expensive cars, designer clothes and plenty of credit cards, but behind closed doors were the victims of domestic violence. Their stories were chilling because they described the amount of energy it took to keep up their public face. It’s a balancing act between fear, saving face, and desperation. The secrets and the pain that accompany a life with uncertainty and limited possibility is small.

There are too many people who walk this world with stories of loneliness that go untold. This sense of isolation impacts them physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Support groups give the individual a place to feel in community. A place where the loneliness is minimized and a common language is spoken. It’s not a language that can be learned; it’s a language that needs to be experienced.

We have been conditioned to keep our spirits up and limit the amount of hardship we show the world. We may hide our challenge for fear that those around us won’t be able to hold the pain. Having a safe container for the pain frees us and allows us to live our lives in alignment. How will you create a unified life? Who will you invite into your world diminishing your isolation? How truthful will you be about what you’re experiencing?

Isolation and loneliness are not diagnostic categories. The health communities lump these circumstances as part of other diagnoses such as depression. I believe that they are just as detrimental as recognized diagnoses because the hidden nature of loneliness and isolation is difficult to uncover.

Have you been diagnosed with a chronic or life-threatening illness?  Looking for education, support, and inspiration?  Visit http://www.survivingstrong.com

Want to explore how Art impacts Healing?  Visit http://www.timetolivecreatively.com

Posted in coping with chronic illness, coping with life threatening illness, Emotional Health, living with chronic illness, Living with Illness, newly diagnosed illness

Shifting Away From Anger

Posted on by Rev. Greg Katz, MS, PhD

Anger is our most accessible emotion. We can go from zero to sixty in a matter of seconds. The problem with anger is that it doesn’t resolve the issue. It’s a manifestation of what we have been taught releases the pressure, but in fact it creates bigger issues for us.

I don’t often share this about myself, but anger was definitely one of my go-to emotions. I’m not sure if it was indignation or self-righteousness, but either way it didn’t serve me well. Fortunately I had the good sense to spend many years in therapy. It helped me understand that I had deeper feelings that I hadn’t explored. That sent me on an inner pilgrimage, a spiritual journey, allowing for personal transformation.

I want to be clear; I’m not talking about anger as a manifestation of a mental illness. After this past weekends shootings in Santa Barbara, we can see the shooter’s anger, but also his underlying pathology. I’m talking about the anger that comes as a result of disappointment, reaction to victimizations, or some other traumatic experience. I’m talking about the anger that accompanies a diagnosis of a chronic or life-threatening illness when we go on a “why me” rampage. I’ve heard so many people express their anger at God when receiving a diagnosis, but what is it they’re really feeling?

It took me a long time to change my modus operandi. After someone I love was wronged (at least in my opinion) I had to find a way to shake the anger. I started to look at what the “offender” did and what made me mad. She used her perceived power to hurt others, personally and professionally. The shift came when I looked beyond the immediate action and started to examine what could be motivation to intentionally inflict pain on others.

My practice has been to shift away from anger to sadness (in many cases). Sadness is experienced internally whereas anger is an external manifestation of our emotions. What happens when we sit with sadness? I find that I become calmer. I become more contemplative. I become more sensitive to other emotions I’m feeling and those of others. It makes me more present, as opposed to anger that transports many of us to some other place emotionally and spiritually.

I want to be clear; I’m not saying that anger is never appropriate. I am saying that we should be experiencing anger when warranted, but in other instances we should be looking to free ourselves from the chains of anger to a more expressive and honest emotion.

Facing adversity such as a health challenge can lead to anger in response to the powerlessness that comes with the diagnosis. The reality is that we are confronted with a reality where our assumptions have been shattered. We “assume” that we’ll all live long and healthy lives, but we also know deep in our hearts that’s not true. Anger seems like a quick and justifiable response if we haven’t had this type of challenge before. Until we come to a place of acceptance, anger seems to bring a sense of resolution. However, for many, it’s just the beginning of the journey.

How can you shift away from anger? Perhaps you seek out a support group, a therapist, a coach, or a spiritual advisor. You may choose to engage in some type of ultimate self-expression like process art to connect with your emotional and spiritual self. However you access those feelings or choose to take the journey deep within, you’ll feel a sense of relief when you shift away from anger.

Looking for education, support, and inspiration when facing a chronic or life-threatening illness? Visit www.survivingstrong.com

Interested in Art and Healing? Visit www.timetolivecreatively.com

Posted in after the diagnosis, coping with chronic illness, coping with life threatening illness, Emotional Health, Empowerment, living with chronic illness, Living with Illness, Spirituality and Health

Is the Dalai Lama the Pied Piper Out of Misery?

Posted on by Rev. Greg Katz, MS, PhD

There is a lot of misery in the world. If misery didn’t exist, the news outlets would have nothing to report. Could it be that our psyches would feel incomplete without misery? They do say that we can’t have one thing without its opposite, so are they saying we can’t have happiness without misery?

In a post last week I shared the story of Stephen Sutton, the teen who died at the age of 19 after a four-year battle with bowel cancer. Out what some might say was his personal misery emerged the Teenage Cancer Trust (teenagecancertrust.org). A little over a year ago I shared the story of Zach Sobiech whose song “Clouds”, caught the attention of millions on YouTube, expressing joy in the time he was given on this earth. How can we judge another’s misery? Do we project our experience of misery onto others?

The Dalai Lama has a prayer, “For as long as space exists and sentiment endures, may I, too, remain to dispel misery in the world.” When I first read this prayer I felt a deep connection to the Dalai Lama’s mission.

I’ve spent my entire adult life working with those facing chronic and life-threatening illnesses. It’s not always easy. I remember one day when four of my clients died on the same day. It was heart wrenching. I had never experienced that much loss simultaneously. I would share information like this with my mother and she would ask why did I stay in this field of work. Her big question was always, “Why can’t you just work with people who shop too much?”

I’m no Dalai Lama, prophet, or diviner. I’m simply a guy who knows in his heart of hearts that I was born to diminish the suffering or challenges faced by those diagnosed with a chronic or life-threatening illness. I’ve been on this path since I was a child when I held my first Ronald McDonald Muscular Dystrophy Carnival in the backyard of the apartment building where we lived.

There is a saying that pain is unavoidable but misery is optional. I often wonder if that was someone who hadn’t tapped into his or her own pain and misery. How we frame things is key to our experience. How we frame things is based on our personal histories; the experiences that give us a context or provide meaning.

I’ll continue on this journey to end misery not because it’s noble, but because it’s coded in my DNA. I’ll seek out avenues for those facing challenges to emerge with dignity. I’m determined to provide opportunities for anyone facing a challenge to reframe their experience, if they so desire. I hope you’ll join me as I engage the prayer by the Dalai Lama as part of my life’s mission!

Looking for education, support, and inspiration when facing a chronic or life-threatening illness? Visit www.survivingstrong.com

Interested in Art and Healing? Join me at http://www.timetolivecreatively.com